Skip to main content

Love is not a Feeling, Love is not a Choice, Love is our nature as believers

Love is not a feeling, Love is not a Choice, Love is our nature as believers

By Oluwatoyosi Adegunle 
Edited by Bibi Babatunde-Ikotun 

I recently had a conversation with an older friend talking about how love is not enough to make any relationship work. He walked me through the scriptures and days of the old experiences where our mothers and fathers have shown us that love is their very nature, and there is no other way to build any relationship in life but to love. I asked him “what about commitment, understanding, trust? Shouldn’t I have all of these alongside love to make a relationship work?” and he said, “if you truly love them, with the love of God, then, it is enough to make it work”.

Life experiences, human relations, books, personal upbringing and movies have truly influenced our perspective of love and subconsciously taught us how to love, when to love, and who to love based on false judgments. The devil never gets tired of bringing up false ways and narratives that go against the word and will of God, and everything true, good and spiritual. He will stop at nothing to make you see how wrong the right things are.

Who is your Daddy? God, who is love.  It is only right for you to look and act like your Father. Even before you gave your life to Christ, God has loved you and known you even before you met him. Isn’t that amazing? Many people find it difficult to even love someone they’ve known for years, talk less of someone they haven’t even met, but that’s not for you, because you’re a child of God, you believe in Jesus who through love saved us. Love is the very nature of God, which explains why he loves us unconditionally. Romans 5:5 has established the truth that the love of God has been shed abroad in our hearts, which means that by the virtue of your position as an offspring of God, you have enough love to share with everyone in the world. Yes! Every single person. 

Love is not a feeling or a choice. You can't decide to love someone or not based on who they are, what they wear, how they look, how much money or affluence they have, how they treat you or how they love you. Where there is first love, there is commitment, humility, patience, kindness, understanding and the remaining fruits of the spirit. As humans, sometimes our emotions get to us and mostly influence our decision making, but be more spirit-led than flesh-led every single day of your life. Understand that, it is either love or love, no other way! Jesus Christ who is our example lived a good life while he was on earth because he showed love to everybody he met, and that love brought people closer to him as he led them to God. 1 Corinthians 13:13 says, between hope, faith, and love, Love is the greatest because it is the very essence of life and living.

Friend, don’t be deceived or misled, it is in your very nature to love people. If God can, you too can. Feelings cannot be fully trusted except you have put them at the feet of Jesus for influence, but feelings can be untrue and deceptive enough to make you feel like you’re doing the right thing. Jeremiah 17:9(NIV) says The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? If you’ve been hurt by people who you loved unconditionally, do you know how to heal? Love more, and never stop till you become love personified. The moment you gave your life to Christ, you gave your heart up for love- for God, love for yourself, love for humanity, and there’s no other way, except love.

You are full of love, and you have enough to go round. Don’t be afraid to give yourself to loving people. 2 Timothy 1:7 says God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love, power and sound mind. Your ability to love unconditionally is not a sign of weakness; it means freedom, liberation and strength.

Never get tired of Loving God, yourself and people!


  1. "I'm love personified because that's my nature. God has placed His love in my heart, so there's enough to go round. Even if I'm in doubt on whether to love or not, I'll remember that it's either I love or love"

    I'm stirred by this, thanks Toyosi and thanks Bibi. You both are strengthened more!!!

  2. "Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him...!" Great piece.

  3. Right now I find it difficult to show love to my family, everytime I try, it gets countered- they frustrate all my efforts. They find ways to make me unhappy and sad. Maybe I'm just bittered, hateful. I really need God to help me, my relationship with my family is very bad, they've made me feel so unwanted that I've accepted it and now live life that way. I need God's intervention.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Story Time: How I got my battle scars (Part 1)

Story Time: How I got my battle scars Hi everyone, welcome back to my blog. I know many of you that have seen me in real life or have seen my pictures have questions about my scars. I'd have questions too if I was in your shoes. To note, putting myself out there like this is new to me but I believe my story will bless and inspire someone. It is a story of victory, deliverance, overcoming tragedy and experiencing God’s intentional love. 

Romans 8:28 (TPT) So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God's perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfil his designed purpose.

On the 24th of March, 2012 my life changed forever. As the secretary of the History and International Studies student association at Babcock University (2012), I was part of the planning process for the annual departmental field trip. I woke up bright and early ready to face a wonderful and impactful day planned f…

Are Men Scum: The godly man guide

Men are Scum: The godly man guide to not being a scum
Last week, I watched Larry Charles' dangerous world of comedy on Netflix and the third episode focused on sexism.  It turns out that Nigeria's comedy industry thrives on sexists jokes that objectify women, normalise rape and encourage the exploitation of women. It was one of the most disgusting things I have ever watched. It's interesting that many think rape is a thing to joke about and the audience laughs at those vile jokes that involve victim blaming. Sexism is broadly seen in our society from the blue collar workers to the board room bosses, from Nollywood movies to product commercials. It is so deeply embedded in our subconscious that we don’t intend to hurt women with our words or actions, it is just a thing of a "normal thing". The truth is I am not trying to vilify anyone. The average man was dealt sexism as a part of being in this present day society. The good thing is you can unlearn all of these thin…

Key identities of a believer

Key Identities of a believer Hello everyone, thank you so much for being an avid reader of my blog. You are amazing and I pray that all your heart desires come to pass in Jesus name. The topic for today is one that has got me very excited💃💃. Being in Christ is amazing but not knowing what that means can lead to a life of frustration. It is like being in line to get on an aeroplane and getting upgraded to first class. If you don’t know the perks of being in first class, you may end up behaving like you are stuck in economy. If you don’t know that a first class passenger has access to a lounge area with delicious foods and drinks while they wait for their flight, you may end up paying a lot of money for food in a non-relaxing side of the airport. What is the benefit of getting a free gift without knowing what comes with it? No benefit at all.
Let us start by answering this question. Who is a believer?My simple definition for a believer is a person that believes in the death, burial a…