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Love is not a Feeling, Love is not a Choice, Love is our nature as believers

Love is not a feeling, Love is not a Choice, Love is our nature as believers

By Oluwatoyosi Adegunle 
Edited by Bibi Babatunde-Ikotun 

I recently had a conversation with an older friend talking about how love is not enough to make any relationship work. He walked me through the scriptures and days of the old experiences where our mothers and fathers have shown us that love is their very nature, and there is no other way to build any relationship in life but to love. I asked him “what about commitment, understanding, trust? Shouldn’t I have all of these alongside love to make a relationship work?” and he said, “if you truly love them, with the love of God, then, it is enough to make it work”.

Life experiences, human relations, books, personal upbringing and movies have truly influenced our perspective of love and subconsciously taught us how to love, when to love, and who to love based on false judgments. The devil never gets tired of bringing up false ways and narratives that go against the word and will of God, and everything true, good and spiritual. He will stop at nothing to make you see how wrong the right things are.

Who is your Daddy? God, who is love.  It is only right for you to look and act like your Father. Even before you gave your life to Christ, God has loved you and known you even before you met him. Isn’t that amazing? Many people find it difficult to even love someone they’ve known for years, talk less of someone they haven’t even met, but that’s not for you, because you’re a child of God, you believe in Jesus who through love saved us. Love is the very nature of God, which explains why he loves us unconditionally. Romans 5:5 has established the truth that the love of God has been shed abroad in our hearts, which means that by the virtue of your position as an offspring of God, you have enough love to share with everyone in the world. Yes! Every single person. 

Love is not a feeling or a choice. You can't decide to love someone or not based on who they are, what they wear, how they look, how much money or affluence they have, how they treat you or how they love you. Where there is first love, there is commitment, humility, patience, kindness, understanding and the remaining fruits of the spirit. As humans, sometimes our emotions get to us and mostly influence our decision making, but be more spirit-led than flesh-led every single day of your life. Understand that, it is either love or love, no other way! Jesus Christ who is our example lived a good life while he was on earth because he showed love to everybody he met, and that love brought people closer to him as he led them to God. 1 Corinthians 13:13 says, between hope, faith, and love, Love is the greatest because it is the very essence of life and living.

Friend, don’t be deceived or misled, it is in your very nature to love people. If God can, you too can. Feelings cannot be fully trusted except you have put them at the feet of Jesus for influence, but feelings can be untrue and deceptive enough to make you feel like you’re doing the right thing. Jeremiah 17:9(NIV) says The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? If you’ve been hurt by people who you loved unconditionally, do you know how to heal? Love more, and never stop till you become love personified. The moment you gave your life to Christ, you gave your heart up for love- for God, love for yourself, love for humanity, and there’s no other way, except love.

You are full of love, and you have enough to go round. Don’t be afraid to give yourself to loving people. 2 Timothy 1:7 says God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love, power and sound mind. Your ability to love unconditionally is not a sign of weakness; it means freedom, liberation and strength.

Never get tired of Loving God, yourself and people!


  1. "I'm love personified because that's my nature. God has placed His love in my heart, so there's enough to go round. Even if I'm in doubt on whether to love or not, I'll remember that it's either I love or love"

    I'm stirred by this, thanks Toyosi and thanks Bibi. You both are strengthened more!!!

  2. "Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him...!" Great piece.

  3. Right now I find it difficult to show love to my family, everytime I try, it gets countered- they frustrate all my efforts. They find ways to make me unhappy and sad. Maybe I'm just bittered, hateful. I really need God to help me, my relationship with my family is very bad, they've made me feel so unwanted that I've accepted it and now live life that way. I need God's intervention.


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