Skip to main content

How to enjoy a satisfying single life

How to enjoy being single

By Dr. Tolu Adeleke

While a lot of people are fascinated by relationship goals and it seems like everyone is getting booed upthese days, I believe Singleness is a gift.

It is a very unique time in a persons life that can be just as pleasurable as being in a relationship. This period also sets a great foundation for a relationship when handled properly. This post is directed to singles who desire to someday be in healthy relationships.

 Few things to do while single.

 1. Strengthen your relationship with God.

As cliche as this is, dont sleep on it.

You need to identify the voice of God and how He speaks to you. Dont wait till theres a potential partner to start praying and then complain that God is not talking to you. Build your intimacy with him now. A lot of us, like the woman at the well in John 4:4-26 are thirsty and will hop from partner to partner until we give room for Christ to take his place in our hearts.

You should also spend time in the word to understand God’s idea for love and relationships. Where the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.

 2. Discover yourself.

 Take personality tests online, find out your love languages (take the quiz here)

Write a list of things that matter to you and what you want to achieve in life.

Also, write down the things you want in a partner. Dont focus on vain things, but be as honest as possible. Habakkuk 2:2-3

When you have written them, prayerfully present them to God. He may ask you to take some things off the list or even add some things. This will help you figure out what is important to you way before any partner comes and emotions begin to swindle you in.

When someone is struggling to meet at least 50% of the qualities on your list, you dont need a lot to tell you that its not the right place to be.

 3. Do an Autopsy of your past.

 An autopsy is a critical examination, evaluation, or assessment of someone or something past

This includes childhood, teen years, and previous relationships. A lot of experiences have built you up to the person you are today both positively and negatively. Identifying your patterns and mistakes along the way can give you information on yourself and what you need to work on. For past relationships, tell the story to yourself again. This time focusing on areas you were wrong and the lessons you want to take from the experience. Dont just stop there, take steps to improve

 4. Build already existing relationships.

A romantic relationship is not the only relationship in your life. Spend time with your family and friends (without being invasive of course) and strengthen your bond. This will help you especially for those days when you are feeling lonely. Dont focus on the love you dont have; utilize the ones you already have!

 5. Get information!!

You can get information from reading books, podcasts, videos, seminars or just listening to other peoples experiences. People who enter relationships with only experiential knowledge tend to have a hard time because your understanding is limited.

Learn about how to start conversations, skills on communication and conflict management amongst other things. Some of us have had good relationships in the past which we ruined because of silly mistakes that a little knowledge would have prevented.

Its also important to weigh the source of your knowledge. Not everything online is credible and you need to be very picky with what you are feeding on. For instance, there are blogs that specialize in sharing horror stories on relationships and marriage (You know their names) those things automatically affect your perspective and for someone hoping to have a good relationship, it could be counterproductive. Guard your hearts, saints!

Theres a lot more we can say about making the best of your single season, however, Ill like to stop here because I really dont like super long posts.

Dont be in a hurry to move to the next stage when you havent made the best of this one. Steward what you have and better will come.

Let me end with a quote from Pastor Mike Todd A lot of problems people face in relationships are as a result of a faulty single life”.

Cheers to a satisfied single-season and eventually a great relationship in the future!

Dr. Tolu Adeleke is a medical doctor, an author, an unapologetic lover of God who believes knowledge is power and shares it to all that would listen. She committed to sharing the gospel and encouraging everyone to live a life empowered by Christ's teachings. You can connect with her on twitter via @T0_0lu.


Have you watched my latest youtube video? Features of a strong relationship or marriage.


  1. Cheers to a satisfied single season

  2. Very salient points . It's hard to love the future spouse when one nurtured love for God and existing fam/friends.
    statement "When someone is struggling to meet at least 50% of the qualities on your list..." is interesting. It will be good to know what such qualities are that'll necessitate striking out a potential from the list :-)

    Great job 👍


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What does it mean to be complete in Christ?

What does it mean to be complete in Christ? When you look at yourself, what do you see? Do you see someone who is imperfect and lacking in many areas? Do you sometimes find yourself thinking these thoughts? God is angry with me. I’m too dirty and damaged for Him to accept me. Why would God want to be with me when I’m a hot mess. Let me give you a secret, it doesn't matter how you feel or what you think. All that matters is what God has said in His word. His word says you are Complete in Christ! You are whole! Nothing missing, nothing lost, nothing broken! This is not by your deeds or something you are on your own. This is because you're in Christ!  Are you in Christ? Colossians 2:9-10 (NKJV) For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead [a]bodily; 10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all [b]principality and power. Colossians 2:9-10 (TPT) For he is the complete fullness of deity living in human form. 10 And our own completeness is now found in him . We are co

Righteousness consciousness versus sin consciousness

Righteousness consciousness versus sin consciousness If you follow me on twitter for a while now, you will see that I always talk about how powerful your righteousness consciousness is compared to sin consciousness. I often roll my eyes when I see people discussing if something is sin or not sin. Do you know someone that is always talking about what is sin or isn’t sin? Or have you found yourself saying “I must be careful not to sin today, God help me not to sin” every day? This is being sin-conscious! You have not sinned yet but you are over-focused on the power of sin rather than the righteousness of God that you are as a believer . Hebrews 10:2-3 (TPT) For if animal sacrifices could once and for all eliminate sin, they would have ceased to be offered and the worshipers would have clean consciences. Instead, once was not enough so by the repetitive sacrifices year after year, the worshipers were continually reminded of their sins, with their hearts still impure. &q

Does God love me personally?

Does God love me personally? by Bibi Babatunde-Ikotun Do you ever wonder if God loves you personally? Or you’re sharing His love with the rest of the world? After all, John 3.16 says For God so loved the world, the world is 7 billion people. How can He possibly love you? This is why it's easy for us to think of His love as generally divided amongst all humans, we never get to see it in the personal details of our life. But I want to remind you of the truth that his love for you is really personalized. Answer me this, d o you know that if you were the only human on earth, He would still have sacrificed His life for you? Romans 5:8 (NKJV) But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Sometimes we think God’s love for us is dependent on our love for him. Like if we ever stopped loving Him, He will decide to stop loving us. This is untrue because the bible tells us in 1 John 4.9  (NKJV) We love Him because He first loved us