How to enjoy a satisfying single life

How to enjoy being single

By Dr. Tolu Adeleke

While a lot of people are fascinated by relationship goals and it seems like everyone is getting “booed up” these days, I believe Singleness is a gift.

It is a very unique time in a person’s life that can be just as pleasurable as being in a relationship. This period also sets a great foundation for a relationship when handled properly. This post is directed to singles who desire to someday be in healthy relationships.

 Few things to do while single.

 1. Strengthen your relationship with God.

As cliche as this is, don’t sleep on it.

You need to identify the voice of God and how He speaks to you. Don’t wait till there’s a potential partner to start praying and then complain that God is not talking to you. Build your intimacy with him now. A lot of us, like the woman at the well in John 4:4-26 are thirsty and will hop from partner to partner until we give room for Christ to take his place in our hearts.

You should also spend time in the word to understand God’s idea for love and relationships. Where the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.

 2. Discover yourself.

 Take personality tests online, find out your love languages (take the quiz here)

Write a list of things that matter to you and what you want to achieve in life.

Also, write down the things you want in a partner. Don’t focus on vain things, but be as honest as possible. Habakkuk 2:2-3

When you have written them, prayerfully present them to God. He may ask you to take some things off the list or even add some things. This will help you figure out what is important to you way before any partner comes and emotions begin to swindle you in.

When someone is struggling to meet at least 50% of the qualities on your list, you don’t need a lot to tell you that it’s not the right place to be.

 3. Do an Autopsy of your past.

 An autopsy is a critical examination, evaluation, or assessment of someone or something past

This includes childhood, teen years, and previous relationships. A lot of experiences have built you up to the person you are today both positively and negatively. Identifying your patterns and mistakes along the way can give you information on yourself and what you need to work on. For past relationships, tell the story to yourself again. This time focusing on areas you were wrong and the lessons you want to take from the experience. Don’t just stop there, take steps to improve

 4. Build already existing relationships.

A romantic relationship is not the only relationship in your life. Spend time with your family and friends (without being invasive of course) and strengthen your bond. This will help you especially for those days when you are feeling lonely. Don’t focus on the love you don’t have; utilize the ones you already have!

 5. Get information!!

You can get information from reading books, podcasts, videos, seminars or just listening to other people’s experiences. People who enter relationships with only experiential knowledge tend to have a hard time because your understanding is limited.

Learn about how to start conversations, skills on communication and conflict management amongst other things. Some of us have had good relationships in the past which we ruined because of silly mistakes that a little knowledge would have prevented.

It’s also important to weigh the source of your knowledge. Not everything online is credible and you need to be very picky with what you are feeding on. For instance, there are blogs that specialize in sharing horror stories on relationships and marriage (You know their names) those things automatically affect your perspective and for someone hoping to have a good relationship, it could be counterproductive. Guard your hearts, saints!

There’s a lot more we can say about making the best of your single season, however, I’ll like to stop here because I really don’t like super long posts.

Don’t be in a hurry to move to the next stage when you haven’t made the best of this one. Steward what you have and better will come.

Let me end with a quote from Pastor Mike Todd “ A lot of problems people face in relationships are as a result of a faulty single life”.

Cheers to a satisfied single-season and eventually a great relationship in the future!

Dr. Tolu Adeleke is a medical doctor, an author, an unapologetic lover of God who believes knowledge is power and shares it to all that would listen. She committed to sharing the gospel and encouraging everyone to live a life empowered by Christ's teachings. You can connect with her on twitter via @T0_0lu.

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Have you watched my latest youtube video? Features of a strong relationship or marriage.