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How to find your soulmate

How to find your soulmate

Hi family, thank you so much for clicking this link. It gives me so much joy to see that you enjoy my content. May God continue to bless and encourage you. So today's post was inspired by this prayer someone posted on Twitter and trust your girl, I responded as you can see below.

Some people go through life thinking there is only one person for them. That they must stay in the place of prayers so they don't miss it when it comes to getting married to the person God destined for them to marry. I once asked a lady, what if your soulmate is on the other side of the world or what if they died as a child? What does that mean for you? Does it mean you may never get married? She answered and said, "That is why we're told to pray for God to connect us to our soulmates and bless them with long life". Honestly, I thought that was a very valid prayer and at the same time, I felt sorry for her. I felt sorry for her because she doesn't know that soulmates are made not found.

Soulmates are made not found

The concept of having only one person on earth for you goes against so many things God stands for. For starters, God gave humanity free will. In the most important matter ever (Salvation), He has given everyone the choice to accept or reject Him (John 3:18). If God didn't give us free will, it will be easy to blame Him for everything. I mean, many people still blame him for wars, hunger and a lot more but the truth remains that He gave us free will and He won't change that when it comes to our choice for marriage. If He did not force program accepting the gospel into us, why will He force someone on us? 

We know how God feels about divorce, He is not a big fan of it (Malachi 2:16). If we make a mistake and marry someone God didn't choose for us, we can go back to Him with that as a cause for divorce when we find the said "soulmate". On the flip side, if we marry someone we think is our God-ordained soulmate, it will not be shockproof from marital problems or even divorces because we humans are complex and can decide to build or destroy our marriages with our choices. Whether our spouses are soulmates from God or not.

Just like everything else in our lives, God wants to partner with us and help us make the best choices. From the job you take to the partner you marry and every other thing. God wants intimacy with us when it comes to decision-making. He was to lead us and direct our path so we don't fall into error (Proverbs 3:5-6). For every person you're interested in, talk to God about it. Let God join your vetting committee. Ask Him what He thinks about that person, He will let you know. See as a believer, you're never stranded! You're led by God all the time. It may be through His audible voice, through nudges, through overwhelming peace and many other ways. But you must know that God talks to you. 

There's no one person for anybody

So when it comes to this soul mate thing, there's no one made specifically for you from heaven. I know you may be thinking, so God did not take me out of any man's rib and until I find him I can never be complete. No, you're complete and brought to fullness in Christ and not in man (Colossians 2:10). You were not removed from anybody's ribs, you came into this earth as a result of the reproductive system God beautifully designed. There's no one man or woman for you, you choose them and make them the one.

You pick a person based on God's leading and your preferences then you make them your soulmate. They may not give you butterflies in your bellies at the moment but as you continue to invest love, peace, joy, commitment and everything else into each other you'll watch yourselves blossom into soulmates. What you invest in your marriage is what you get out. 

Remember, you pick one person and stick to them forever. And because we're believers, doesn't mean we're immune from marital hardships but the difference is that we keep yielding to the Holy Spirit and making sure our flesh doesn't take charge of things. Remember, those that are led and continue to submit to God in all ways will not fall into error.

Note; you will always meet more beautiful, richer, more intelligent, and more spiritual people. In fact, some of these people may be your exact spec in comparison to your spouse. But know that the grass is only greener on the other side because it's either fake or because you're not watering your own grass that's why others look greener. When you meet these people in the cause of your life, take it as a reminder to pour a lot more into your marriage and watch it flourish. It's beautiful to be a man or woman of your word. You made a commitment when you married your spouse and you'll need to stick to that forever. 

I hope this has encouraged you! I hope you stop looking for one and start being led in your choices. 

With love,

Bibi Babatunde-Ikotun

P.S In sensitive cases of abuse, marriage is not a do-or-die affair. You're never condemned! 


  1. Thank you Bibi for these words of wisdom. God bless you!

  2. This article offers a refreshing perspective on finding a soulmate. It emphasizes the importance of making choices with God's guidance and investing in a relationship to create a soulmate bond. The message empowers readers to take charge of their love life and understand that they are complete in themselves. The reminder to water their own grass and commit to their chosen partner is valuable advice for a fulfilling marriage. A thoughtful and insightful read.


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